1.”Do I need to book an appointment?”

NOPE so stop asking please.

2.”Do you use a gun?”

Hell to the no, unless you want a cauliflower ear..see below

Cartilage-Piercing-Gone-wrong-Damaged-and-swollen-cartilage

3.”I’m allergic to surgical steel/titanium can you pierce it with gold?”

And what genius has told you you’re allergic to titanium?

4.”I’ve heard this piercing will paralyse my face?”

This is absurd. No, that’s not true. And a navel piercing can’t poke your intestines, and a tongue piercing won’t give you brain cancer. Where do people come up with these things?!

5.”If I get my tongue pierced apparently I’ll bleed to death”

Unless your piercer is a complete and utter doofus and somehow stabs you in the jugular I’m pretty damn sure that won’t happen.

6.”My doctor says…”

Is this doctor a trained body piercer and pierced to the eyeballs? No? THEN TAKE OUR ADVICE. We research endlessly for a reason -insert crying face here-

7.”Does it hurt?”

I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and say yes a needle passing through your body will pinch a tad.

8.”I’ve heard you could pierce the artery in my ear?!”

Unsure if you ever taken an biology/anatomy class but ya know its super difficult to pierce deep enough to hit the artery which runs pretty much against your skull, unless you get stabbed in the head for asking stupid questions..

9.”Can I change my fresh piercing to different jewellery next week please?”

Unless you’re asking for the jewellery to embed (when the jewellery sits inside of your piercing because of swelling or incorrect size) I highly wouldn’t recommend you changing the jewellery yourself.

 10.”I’ve been cleaning it with TCP/alcohol/peroxide and don’t understand why its angry”

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We give you an aftercare sheet and explain in detail how to care for your new piercing, if you don’t follow it, please don’t return and ask stupid questions. TCP or anything with a strong alcohol or chemical base is way too harsh and will do more hurt than good.

11.”I pierced it myself and don’t understand why its gone green”

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Why? Just why?!
Ugh…my heart… it just makes me think you’re an irresponsible twit who doesn’t give two sh*ts about their own well being. Go to a reputable piercer or just don’t bother.

12.”Do I need to keep twisting it?”

No, if you do you’ll just end up making your new piercing angry and drag all of that nasty dried gunk into your fresh piercing. Please don’t listen to your grandmother’s piercing advice and listen to the professionals.

13.“Well the OTHER shop said…”

We don’t give a flying  f*ck what the other shop said. WE PIERCED YOU, LISTEN TO US.

14.”Can you pierce it for £5?”

Where do you think our equipment comes from, the piercings are a set price so we can live and buy clamps/needles/jewellery so you can have good quality piercings!

15.”I want my nose pierced but school wont let me, can you write me a note?”

Do I look like a doctor? You don’t need a piercing to live, just be bloody patient and wait until no one can tell you what you can and can’t have done, its not difficult.

16.”which ear is the gay ear?”

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I don’t think you quite understand how piercings work..

17.”why has the ball fallen off?”

I’m afraid to inform you that it’s in fact your responsibility to tighten the balls on your jewellery, i cannot personally follow you around and make sure all of the jewellery is on nice and tight.

18.”I can get this done cheaper somewhere else”

Please do, but don’t come back crying to us when its infected, or the newly pierced area has gone green and is falling off..

19.”So when are you becoming a tattooist?”

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People automatically assume you tattoo as well and no matter how many times you say you only pierce, they fail to understand. I enjoy being a piercer, end of.

20. “I want to buy a piercing” (this is normally when a client enters the shop and wants to purchase jewellery)

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The PIERCING is the actual hole in your body, and also the act of putting said hole in you with needles and love. The thing you put into that hole is called JEWELLERY. Please get it right and don’t make your piercers head hurt, thanks.

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